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Humor-Viccek-,Aranyköpések
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Gábor 63 (msg) 36720 June 4, 2020, 6:52 p.m.   x

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gencsydani (msg) 36718 June 3, 2020, 5:55 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36715 June 3, 2020, 3:36 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36714 June 3, 2020, 8:18 a.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36713 June 2, 2020, 12:44 p.m.   x

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gencsydani (msg) 36712 June 2, 2020, 8:19 a.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36711 June 2, 2020, 7:40 a.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36710 June 1, 2020, 6:09 p.m.   x

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Itil900 (msg) 36709 May 31, 2020, 7:34 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36708 May 31, 2020, 1 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36707 May 31, 2020, 6:20 a.m.   x
- Há' csókolom! Á Gázsit ké'ném!
- Nemtom' adni, épp fürdik.
- Fü'dik?! E'nézést, téves...

Vidéki vendéglőben:
- Cigánypecsenye van?
- Van, de akkor zene nincs...
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Gábor 63 (msg) 36706 May 31, 2020, 6:14 a.m.   x
A Danubius rádiót felhívja a cigány:
- Jó nápot kivánok. Lákátos Áládár vágyok. Tegnap a Váci utcábán táláltám egy pénztácát. Volt benne 82 ezer forint, 510 német márka, 600 USA dollár, 500ezer olász lira, és 280 svájci frank. Volt benne egy személyi igazolvány is, aszongya: Kiss Péter Richárd, Budapest, Dobó utca.
Nnnnaa, neki küldeném a következő számot...

A cigány meglátogatja a barátját, akinek nagy háza és gyönyörű felesége van, a kertben pedig egy óriási teniszpálya-komplexum, ahol ott teniszezik Navratilova és Steffi Graf.
Kérdezi is a házigazdát:
- Te, Gazsi, hogy lehet ez?
- Hát lementem a patakhoz, kifogtam az aranyhalat, és kívántam tőle hármat.
- Nem lehetne nekem is kívánni?
- Már hogyne lehetne!
Gazsi megmutatja, hol fogta ki az aranyhalat. A cigány is kifogja.
- Kívánhatsz hármat, ha visszadobsz - mondja neki a hal.
- Hát legyen szíp nagy házam, de nagyobb, mint a Gazsijé! - kezdi a cigány.
- Legyen szíp az asszony, de szebb, mit a Gazsijé. És legyen nagy szex!
Hazamegy a cigány, ott a hatalmas palota, az ablakból egy szép asszony integet.
Kinyitja az ajtót: ömlik ki a házból a keksz. Visszamegy a cigány a Gazsihoz:
- Kívántam nagy ház, lett nagy ház, kívántam szíp asszony, lett szíp asszony, kívántam nagy szex, oszt most ömlik a házbul a keksz...
- Miért, mit gondolsz, én nagy téniszt kívántam?
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Gábor 63 (msg) 36705 May 31, 2020, 6:08 a.m.   x
A cigány elmegy az orvoshoz:
- Doktor úr, nagy baj van, kékül a bal lábam!
- Hát, ezt bizony le kell amputálni!
Két nap múlva visszamegy a cigány:
- Doktor úr, nagyon nagy baj van! Kékül a jobb lábam!
- Hát, cigány bizony ezt is le kell amputálni!
Két nap múlva beviszik a cigányt az orvoshoz:
- Doktor úr, hatalmas nagy baj van! Kékül a seggem!
Az orvos gondolkodik egy darabig, majd megszólal:
- Te cigány, nem fog véletlenül a farmerod?

A cigány bemegy a DVD kölcsönzőbe, odamegy a pultoshoz, és azt kérdezi:
- Adjon má egy olyan fimet amiben a cigány lelövi a Rambo-t.
- Hát olyan filmről az életben nem hallottam!
- Akkor addzson olyat amiben a cigány megveri a Schwarzeneggert!
- Hát olyan film biztos nem létezik!
- Há akkó milyen film van akkor ebben a kölcsönzőben ami cigányos?
- Van itt egy olyan, amiben a cigánynak dolgoznia kell, hogy megéljen!
- Jaaaaj, a sci-fi-t azt nem szeretjük!
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gencsydani (msg) 36704 May 30, 2020, 3:06 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36703 May 29, 2020, 1:31 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36702 May 29, 2020, 12:04 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36701 May 28, 2020, 6:57 p.m.   x
Anya te mit szerettél volna, kislányt vagy kisfiút?
-Én csak ki szerettem volna mosni a kádat..
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Gábor 63 (msg) 36700 May 27, 2020, 9:54 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36699 May 27, 2020, 2:23 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36698 May 27, 2020, 1:39 p.m.   x
Tévedett :P
Egy pasi a kasszánál áll a kígyózó sor végén. A mellette lévő sorból rá-rá pislant, mosolyog egy szőke bombázó. A fickó nem bírja tovább és kedvesen hozzászól:
- Nem ismerjük mi egymást valahonnan?
- Nem vagyok teljesen biztos benne, de szerintem az egyik gyerekem apja lehet.
A fickónak eszébe jut az egyetlen eset, amikor hűtlen volt:
- Úr Isten! Ön az a sztriptíztáncosnő, akit a legénybúcsún a csocsó-asztalon dugtam meg a haverjaim szeme láttára, miközben a barátnői nedves zellerlevéllel vertek és egy uborkát dugtak a hátsómba?
- Nem. Én a fia angoltanárnője vagyok.
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gencsydani (msg) 36697 May 27, 2020, 11:15 a.m.   x

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Itil900 (msg) 36696 May 26, 2020, 4:55 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36695 May 26, 2020, 2:18 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36694 May 26, 2020, 7:36 a.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36693 May 26, 2020, 7:27 a.m.   reply to: 36692 x
Nem olvasom h nagy igasság lenne!
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csanyi (msg) 36692 May 26, 2020, 2:51 a.m.   reply to: 36690 x
Ha mindenkinek akkora ász volt az apja, nagyapja akkor ki a bánat csinált az utóbbi 110 évben két vesztes vh.-t és egy faja komcsizmust? Ha valaki kiír egy nagy igazságot akkor szeretem annak a fonákját is megnézni ennek a dolognak pedig van nagyon.:)
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lajostrom (msg) 36691 May 25, 2020, 7:32 p.m.   x

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zooli (msg) 36690 May 25, 2020, 5:09 p.m.   reply to: 36688 x
Hát csanyi, te jöl beszoptad...
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lajostrom (msg) 36689 May 25, 2020, 4:25 p.m.   x

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csanyi (msg) 36688 May 25, 2020, 4:07 p.m.   reply to: 36687 x
.......és apád épp levarrja az igen csinos asszonyodat. :))
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csanyi (msg) 36687 May 25, 2020, 3:07 p.m.   reply to: 36683 x
Mire rájössz, hogy apád síkhülye volt addigra megfogadtad az összes tanácsát amitől tönkrementél és börtönben ülsz.
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lajostrom (msg) 36686 May 25, 2020, 1:11 p.m.   x

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gencsydani (msg) 36685 May 25, 2020, 1:04 p.m.   x

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gencsydani (msg) 36684 May 25, 2020, 1:03 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36683 May 25, 2020, 10:56 a.m.   x
Mire rájössz, hogy apádnak igaza volt, már ott áll melletted a fiad, és nem hisz neked.
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Itil900 (msg) 36682 May 24, 2020, 9:59 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36681 May 24, 2020, 9:17 a.m.   x

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Itil900 (msg) 36680 May 23, 2020, 12:20 a.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36679 May 22, 2020, 9:47 a.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36678 May 21, 2020, 8:40 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36677 May 20, 2020, 10:14 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36675 May 19, 2020, 8:38 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36674 May 19, 2020, 10:40 a.m.   x

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Itil900 (msg) 36673 May 18, 2020, 11:06 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36672 May 18, 2020, 6:31 p.m.   x

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Itil900 (msg) 36671 May 17, 2020, 10:43 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36670 May 17, 2020, 3:53 p.m.   reply to: 36669 x
:):):)
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csanyi (msg) 36669 May 17, 2020, 3:33 p.m.   reply to: 36667 x
Hááát az animal is lehet jó bár azt hiszem a birkák ebben a kategóriában vezetnek. :)
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lajostrom (msg) 36668 May 17, 2020, 6:27 a.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36667 May 16, 2020, 6:11 p.m.   reply to: 36666 x
Ide nekem mind a négyet!!!
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lajostrom (msg) 36666 May 16, 2020, 5:43 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36665 May 16, 2020, 5:07 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36664 May 16, 2020, 7:45 a.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36663 May 15, 2020, 6:19 p.m.   x

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gencsydani (msg) 36662 May 15, 2020, 5:36 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36661 May 15, 2020, 3:10 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36660 May 15, 2020, 11:04 a.m.   x
Szőke Nő:Tegnap vettem egy vágódeszkát és nem vág.... Mire a pasi: ugyanígy jártam a szopogató tablettával.. :)
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Gábor 63 (msg) 36659 May 15, 2020, 7:47 a.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36658 May 14, 2020, 9:30 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36657 May 14, 2020, 7:01 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36656 May 14, 2020, 6:48 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36655 May 14, 2020, 6:36 p.m.   x

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Itil900 (msg) 36654 May 13, 2020, 10:10 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36653 May 13, 2020, 5:30 p.m.   x
A skót gyerek odaszalad az apjához:
- Apu, az ajtóban áll egy bácsi!
- És mit akar?
- A most épülő uszodára gyűjt!
- Adj neki két vödör vizet!!
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lajostrom (msg) 36652 May 13, 2020, 3:41 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36651 May 13, 2020, 11:42 a.m.   reply to: 36650 x
Nekem már Ő is.
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HoGo (msg) 36650 May 13, 2020, 11:01 a.m.   reply to: 36649 x
Városi legenda :)
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lajostrom (msg) 36649 May 12, 2020, 8:34 p.m.   x
Cook kapitány kérdi a bennszülöttet h az mi? S mutat egy ugráló, hosszúfarkú, nyúlfejű micsodára. Ken Guru! Mondja.
Nem tudom!
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Gábor 63 (msg) 36648 May 12, 2020, 3:01 p.m.   x
A polgármester megszólítja a cigányt.
- Te Gazsi, neked is kell ám adót fizetned!
- Hát azt meg mi a fészkes fenének?
- Mert abból tudjuk a falut szépíteni.
- Akkor az közügy?
- Igen, persze!
- Ajaj, attól én 10 évre el vagyok tiltva!
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Gábor 63 (msg) 36647 May 11, 2020, 7:17 p.m.   x

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Itil900 (msg) 36645 May 10, 2020, 10:25 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36644 May 10, 2020, 10:20 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36643 May 10, 2020, 6:15 p.m.   x

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gencsydani (msg) 36642 May 10, 2020, 5:27 p.m.   x

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Itil900 (msg) 36641 May 9, 2020, 10:20 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36640 May 9, 2020, 4:25 p.m.   x

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Itil900 (msg) 36638 May 9, 2020, 7:05 a.m.   x

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Itil900 (msg) 36637 May 8, 2020, 10:50 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36636 May 8, 2020, 8:11 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36635 May 8, 2020, 6:11 p.m.   x

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Itil900 (msg) 36634 May 7, 2020, 8:57 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36633 May 7, 2020, 9:37 a.m.   x
"Tedd vissza a farhátat a hűtőbe!"
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Itil900 (msg) 36632 May 6, 2020, 11:58 p.m.   x

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Itil900 (msg) 36631 May 6, 2020, 11:48 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36630 May 6, 2020, 8:40 p.m.   x

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gencsydani (msg) 36629 May 6, 2020, 8:16 a.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36628 May 5, 2020, 9:31 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36627 May 5, 2020, 5:46 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36626 May 4, 2020, 7:52 a.m.   x

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gencsydani (msg) 36625 May 3, 2020, 10:57 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36624 May 3, 2020, 7:33 p.m.   x
Tekis köcsög
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lajostrom (msg) 36623 May 3, 2020, 7:28 p.m.   x

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lajostrom (msg) 36622 May 3, 2020, 9:15 a.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36621 May 2, 2020, 5 p.m.   x

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gencsydani (msg) 36620 May 2, 2020, 9:38 a.m.   x
Ne edd meg a dinnye magját...
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Itil900 (msg) 36619 May 1, 2020, 11:20 p.m.   x

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gencsydani (msg) 36618 April 30, 2020, 4:22 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36617 April 29, 2020, 6:16 p.m.   x

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Gábor 63 (msg) 36616 April 29, 2020, 6:07 p.m.   x

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